***Warning: This post contains some nudity. Viewer discretion is advised.
Ladies and gentlemen, we are here at the OHM Nightclub in Hollywood, California and welcome to the 30th Annual XRCO Awards Show, the world’s largest private adult industry party. It’s a big night for pornography! Oh wait. Every night is a big night for pornography for all you perverts, so what’s all the fuzz about? Well, it is because we will finally see the porn stars we know and fantasize about… all dressed up! How exciting.
If you haven’t heard of the XRCO before, then let me tell you what it is.”XRCO” stands for X-Rated Critics Organization. It was founded in 1984, it is a circle of adult industry insiders that hold an awards show each year that celebrates the excellence and achievement of people in this business who worked their butts off (no pun intended). It is one of the major adult awards show in the US, the others being the AVN (Adult Video News) Awards and the XBIZ Awards. Let’s just say that if the AVN is the Oscars, the XBIZ is the Golden Globe, then the XRCO Awards is the Critic’s Choice Awards. Winners are judged by those guys who make a living out of watching porn, those guys you wish were you.
The 30th Annual XRCO Awards is a low-key event that is not open to the general public. It is exclusive only to the voting members of the XRCO and the people who are in the adult industry. The room gets filled with eye candies and the ratio of ugly men to bombshell women is 1:3. Believe it. It’s rarer than the phenomenon of having the stars,the moon, the planets and all the pimples on my face align.
Just what kind of awards do they give out in this event? Well, they have the usual Best Actor, Best Actress, and Best Director awards, there are Hall of Fame presentations, but it gets more exciting. There are the Best Cumback Award (like Best Comeback, except it’s spelled like that because it’s more uhhm… seminal fluid-ishy); the MILF of the Year Award which is given to the mature hot mamas; the Superslut Award (mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the sluttiest of them all?); the Orgasmic Oralist and Orgasmic Analist Awards, which I love because they sound so fancy and eloquent that you can write them on your resumes; and so on.
Here’s the complete list of awards, its nominees and winners for the 30th Annual XRCO Awards Show, courtesy of XRCO:
BEST RELEASE (shot on film, digital, or video)
Broken Hearts, Smash Pictures
Daddy’s Girls – Girlfriends Films
Divorcees – Wicked Pictures
The Perfect Secretary 3: New Recruit – Adam & Eve Pictures
Performer of the Year 2013 – Elegant Angel
The Submission of Emma Marx – New Sensations – WINNER
The Temptation of Eve – New Sensations
Truth Be Told – Skow Digital/Girlfriends Films
Bridesmaids – Digital Playground
Code Of Honor – Digital Playground
Devil on a Chain – Vivid Entertainment Group
The Madison’s Mad Mad Circus – Juicy Entertainment
The New Behind The Green Door – Vivid Entertainment Group
Underworld – Wicked Pictures – WINNER
BEST PARODY (Comedy)
Clerks XXX: A Porn Parody – Vivid Entertainment Group
Grease XXX A Parody – Adam & Eve Pictures – WINNER
Just In Beaver Fever – Devil’s Films
Love Boat XXX – X-Play/Adam & Eve Pictures
Not South Park XXX – X-Play/Pulse
Not The Wizard Of Oz XXX – X Play/Pulse
This Ain’t Star Trek 3 XXX 3D- Hustler
The Walking Dead: A Hardcore Parody – Burning Angel/Vouyer
BEST PARODY (Drama)
Gia: Lesbian Supermodel – Girl Candy/AEBN/Pulse
The Lone Ranger XXX – Extreme Comixxx
OMG … It’s the Leaving Las Vegas XXX Parody – Septo Productions – WINNER
This Ain’t Diehard XXX 3D – Hustler
BEST PARODY (Comic)
Iron Man XXX – VividXXXSuperheroes
Man Of Steel XXX –VividXXXSuperheroes – WINNER
Thor XXX – VividXXXSuperheroes
Wolverine XXX: An Axel Braun Parody – VividXXXSuperheroes
The XXX Adventures of Hawkman & Hawkgirl -Extreme Comixxx
BEST GONZO MOVIE
Anikka – Hard X/Mile High
Battle of the Asses #5 – Elegant Angel
The Gangbang of Bonnie Rotten – Digital Sin
No Cum Dodging Allowed #13 – Mike John/Jules Jordan
Remy LaCroix’s Anal Cabo Weekend – LeWood/Evil Angel – WINNER
Threesome Fantasies Fulfilled – Digital Sin
BEST GONZO SERIES
Wet Asses – Jules Jordan Video – WINNER
Day With A Pornstar – Brazzers
Gangbanged – Elegant Angel
Oil Overload – Jules Jordan Video
Raw – Manuel Ferrara/Evil Angel
Slutty & Sluttier – Manuel Ferrara/Evil Angel
Spin, Suck, & Fuck – Immoral Productions
BEST GIRL/GIRL SERIES
Belladonna: No Warning – Belladonna/Evil Angel
Girlfriends – Third Degree Films
Girls Kissing Girls – Sweetheart/Mile High
Meow – Jules Jordan
Mommy & Me – Filly Films
We Live Together – Reality Kings
Women Seeking Women – Girlfriends Films – WINNER
BEST POV SERIES
Barely Legal POV – Hustler Video
Housewife 1 On 1 – Naughty America/Pure Play
Let Me Suck You – Elegant Angel
Panty Pops – Kevin Moore/Evil Angel
POV Pervert – Jules Jordan – WINNER
Schoolgirl POV – New Sensations
Tanlines – Kevin Moore/Evil Angel
BEST ETHNIC SERIES
8th Street Latinas – Reality Kings
Asian Fuck Faces – Darkko Productions/Evil Angel – WINNER
Big Ass Brazilian Butts – Reality Kings
Big Black Wet Asses – Elegant Angel Productions
Black Owned – Jules Jordan
Latin Adultery – Naughty America/Pure Play
Latina Sex Tapes – MOFOS
BEST DIRECTOR (Features)
Jacky St. James- WINNER
BEST DIRECTOR (Non-Features)
Mason – WINNER
Tim Von Swine
BEST DIRECTOR (Parody)
Will Ryder – WINNER
BEST WEB DIRECTOR
Brando – Brazzers
Shelby Black – Naughty America
Ivan – Puba
Greg Lansky – Reality Kings – WINNER
Brother Love – Porn Pros
Jessica drake – Underworld – Wicked Pictures
Allie Haze – Clerks XXX: A Porn Parody – Vivid Entertainment Group
Jesse Jane – Code Of Honor – Digital Playground
Remy LaCroix, The Temptation of Eve – New Sensations Erotic Stories – WINNER
Brooklyn Lee – The New Behind the Green Door – Vivid Entertainment Group
Maddy O’Reilly – Not The Wizard Of Oz XXX – X Play/Pulse
Penny Pax – The Submission of Emma Marx – New Sensations Erotic Stories
Richie Calhoun – The Submission of Emma Marx – New Sensations Erotic Stories – WINNER
Xander Corvus – The Temptation of Eve – New Sensations
Mark Davis – Nobody’s Daughter – Hard Candy/AEBN/Pulse
Ryan Driller – Man Of Steel XXX –VividXXXSuperheroes
Tommy Pistol – Evil Head – BurningAngel/Vouyer
Steven St. Croix – Truth Be Told – Skow Digital
Evan Stone – Daddy’s Girls – Girlfriends Films
FEMALE PERFORMER OF THE YEAR
Remy LaCroix – WINNER
MALE PERFORMER OF THE YEAR
Manuel Ferrara – WINNER
Steven St. Croix
A.J. Applegate – WINNER
Tyler Nixon – WINNER
Vicki Chase – WINNER
Johnny Castle – WINNER
Mia Malkova – WINNER
Bonnie Rotten – WINNER
Vicki Chase – WINNER
Jada Stevens – WINNER
MILF OF THE YEAR
Francesca Le – WINNER
Sunny Lane – WINNER
MAINSTREAM ADULT MEDIA FAVORITE
James Deen – WINNER
XRCO HALL OF FAME
Brigitte Lahaie – Film Pioneer
Axel Braun – Director
Rebecca Bardoux – Actress
Tera Patrick – Actress
Stormy Daniels – Actress
Taylor Wane – Actress
Mark Wood – Actor
Tony Montana – Actor
Slave To Love – Rosebud – Alex DeRenzy – Best Movie (1993)
And now, the red carpet photos. Enjoy!
So how does it feel like to be surrounded by porn stars? To have beautiful, attractive, sexy, sultry, seductive, erotic women everywhere you look? To smell the scent of adultery, glamour, money and vagina juice all at the same time? One word: overwhelming. Two words: fucking awesome. Three words: suck my di… okay bleep! Bleep! Bleep! Take me down to the paradise city where the carpet is red and the girls are pretty. Oh won’t you please take me home! XRCO is Paradise City. XRCO is home.
Congratulations to all the winners! Everyone of you deserves a standing ovation… inside our pants! HALLLOOOO!!!! Okay, please pardon my overused punch line.
Please forgive the uncensored photos and language used in this article. This site will remain wholesome as it has always been. Wink.
Tanya Tate is the hottest pornstar in the universe. See more of her on http://tanyatate.com/
Star-studded premiere last night of “Transcendence” at the Regency Village Theater in Westwood, CA. As expected, there were a lot of people who came in to see Johnny Depp in person. This is now my third time to see him in a celebrity event and the joy and excitement I feel when he’s near is no different from the first time! Ohhh Johnnyyy.
The presence of God was felt by everyone once this man stepped out of the car.
Kate Mara. She’s unbelievably cute.
Rockers, are you ready for this? It’s the Antichrist Superstar, Marilyn Manson!
Lisa Edelstein, best known for her appearance as Lisa Cuddy on House, M.D.
You know that creepy dude from The Da Vinci Code?! He’s the same guy who voices J.A.R.V.I.S. in the Iron Man series and The Avengers. His name: Paul Bettany. He will be in Avengers: Age of Ultron to play the role of Vision.
Tia Mowry. She’s got a twin sister, Tamera Mowry.
Remember that Joe Dirt movie with David Spade? Here’s his fantasy girl, Brandy! Brittany Daniel in real life…
…who also happens to have a twin sister, Cynthia Daniel. Any Sweet Valley High Fans out there?
Surprise appearances are always AMAZING and sometimes, CRAZY! In every premiere I go to, I try not to close my eyes. I try not to fall asleep coz I DON’T WANNA MISS A THING. And I’m so glad I didn’t! Here’s Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler arriving after a lot of people have already left. He just popped out of nowhere! So glad we stayed!
Here are some more photos. Enjoy!