Sylvester Stallone!!! *KABOOM*
Arnold Scwarzenegger!!! *KABOOM*
Jason Statham!!! *KABOOM*
Chuck Norris!!! ***KAAABOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM***
It’s The Expendables 2 Red Carpet Premiere! The toughest men in Hollywood are gonna be here! We’re all pumped up!!!
The premiere has been delayed a couple of days due to the passing of Stallone’s son, Sage. Rest in Peace, brother.
And now we’re here, ready to witness the macho men of the big screen all in one event, live and in person. I grew up watching some of these men on Betamax, then on VHS, then on VCD, then on DVD, now we have Blu-Ray, and they’re still kings. The symbols of male machismo. The gods of Hollywood action films. Today, we see these gods walk right in front ouf our very eyes.
The crowd is piling up. More and more people arrive by the minute. Hollywood Blvd is gonna be packed in a little while. The street is closed to the traffic, maybe just coz Chuck Norris wants it to be. Hmm wait… that girl looks familiar… isn’t that… Catwoman?! Wow even superheroes can’t wait to see them!
I see the billboard up on the wall and wow! It’s actually the first time I see this version. I only keep seeing the other one but this… THIS is definitely way cooler. The Last Supper theme, very clever.
Get your posters and sharpies ready folks! They’ll be here in a minute…
The big badass black cars are starting to arrive…
Okay I dunno any of them (you probably do!). But that’s usually the case, the unknowns arrive first, then the little known, then the minor cast, then the stars of the film. It’s kind of like a rising tension that builds to the climactic moment.
First familiar face of the day, Extra’s Mario Lopez! He’ll be doing some interviews for his show today…
And there’s Olympic swimmers Ryan Lochte and Conor Dwyer! This is so unexpected! There are not only action heroes here, but Olympic heroes as well! Congratulations for the achievements you’ve made this past summer guys!
Another Olympian! It’s suddenly raining gold medals! Her name’s Jessica Steffens, from the US Women’s Water Polo Team. Congratulations, Jessica! Wear it proud!
The place is now roaring! Somebody big has arrived! BIG, both literally and figuratively… it’s Terry Crews! Man! The guy’s full of energy! He blasts to the scene screaming, waving his arms up telling everyone to get wild. And so we do!!!
Terry Crews sure is one of the coolest guys in Hollywood.
And then there’s Charisma Carpenter, she plays the girlfriend of Jason Statham’s character on the film.
Next comes IVAN DRAGO!!! Mr. Dolph Lundgren! Okay he’s played a lot of other characters throughout the years but he’ll always be Drago to me. That training montage scene on Rocky 4?! EPIC. By the way, he’s from Sweden. Jag älskar Sverige!
The Stallone Family is now here, supporting Sly. Jean-Claude Van Damme has also arrived. The guys meet and give each other a big warm hug. Of course in the film, Van Damme is the main antagonist so don’t expect any hugging there.
Van Damme is now walking towards us. Hope he doesn’t give anyone a flying kick!
Hey Jean-Claude! I love Bloodsport!!!
Everything seems to be going fine at this point, and then it happens. The earth shakes, a loud deafening sound is heard, people scatter on all directions running for their lives. HOLY SMOKES!!! It’s CHUCK NORRIS! It’s CHUCK NORRIS!!! IT”S CHUCK NORRIISSSS!!!!
Nah. None of that happens. He arrives peacefully and proceeds to sign autographs.
Okay while he is signing, some Chuck Norris facts. Yay!
- Chuck Norris charges money for autographs because they double as “No Tresspassing” signs.
- Chuck Norris is so powerful he can jumpstart a car by attaching the cables to his chest hair.
- Only one person cried when Chuck Norris was born and it was the doctor. No one slaps Chuck Norris.
Okay enough. There’s a whole website dedicated to that, check it out! http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/ FYI, it’s all 100% real haha.
Chuck’s done signing and look there’s an SUV heading the opposite way, I suddenly hear screams “ARNOLD!!!” I saw his hands waving from the window, but that was it. I didn’t get a photo! Well, I got a photo of the vehicle at least.
I’m gonna wait for him to walk by to our spot so I can see him better, but I’ll learn later on that he won’t be heading our way.
I got a picture from afar, a badly blurred one. Ugh.
Bummer. But that’s alright, just keep making action movies sir, and I’ll see you in another premiere!
There’s a buzz that Bruce Willis will not be coming, which will prove to be right. They say he’s abroad or something. That’s okay, he has a movie coming soon and I hope to see him there. It’s called Looper, with Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
Now here’s the main man, Sylvester Stallone! Cool, he’s wearing his “lucky ring” from the movie!
The whole family walks by with him while he’s signing, with some people asking for pictures with the members of the family too, especially Frank Stallone who also is an actor.
Beautiful Stallone Family!
Jason Statham time is now! The guy’s smiling the whole time and signing autographs for a lot of people! He’s definitely in a good mood!
Hey Jason, WAAZZZAAAPPP??!!!
Okay last but not the least. I’m a big UFC fan so I gotta introduce him the UFC way, the Bruce Buffer way! Ahem…
Fighting out of the red corner, this man is a mixed martial artist with a record of 19 wins and 11 losses. Standing 6 foot 1, weighing in at 205 lbs, from Las Vegas, Nevada, USA. Ladies and gentlemen, presenting, the former two time Light Heavyweight Champion, the former three time Heavyweight Champion, the UFC Hall of Famer, Randy “The Natural” Couture!!!
And there ya go. I hope you enjoyed this red carpet moment with me. Please don’t forget to watch The Expendables 2!
I’ll see you again soon at the red carpet!